A Writer's Device: Embellishment!

It's been a lovely month of travel, writing, relaxing and sorting out other things in my life. It was a much-needed change of pace, but it's time to be seen here again. Hope you've all been well in the interim!

There is always a bit of a choice when you are asked to tell a story about an experience... besides simply making a fiction of it, which some people seem to love to do (( shrug ))... but in this case I mean "Tell it dryly and expect the story to entertain all by itself" or "tell it with some style and panache; dress things up to convey thoughts and mood". The latter of those options is the right way to Embellish a telling. Add nothing untrue, but have fun with conveying the tale.

Here's an example from my travels last month: The Tomato Juice Telling.

I was seated center on the flight from Japan to Seattle... crammed into a crowded row as usual in Economy, but with no aisle to lean into for space. About an hour after take-off was the drink service, and the following happened.

Dry Telling:

"When the Flight Attendant tried to put my drink on my tray table, I had my arms under the table to get a mobile device out of the seat back. The drink slid off the table and into my lap, spilling all of it. Had to protect the people sitting next to me from the spill, and one of them got relocated to another seat during the clean-up. My clothes had to be washed in the sink and left to dry in the back cabin for the flight. I got given the seat next to mine, and a couple of blankets to cover up for the flight time."

yeah, that happened. But it is a bit of the "what a bother" told that way. The following is a lot more fun to hear:

Told With Style:

"When the Flight Attendant tried to put my drink on my tray table, I had my arms under the table to get a mobile device out of the seat back. The drink slid off the table and into my lap, spilling all of it. She'd already looked away, so might not have seen it happening. Or as it was a Delta international flight, with their seniority system, and she being a late-career Jaded As Fuck Flight Attendant, maybe she didn't care...

"Drink went straight into my lap. Belt to ankles, Tomato Juice. I couldn't move as I was center seat and had to keep the splash off the people next to me. I asked rather loudly of the Attendant as to what just happened and what to do about it. Got big cow eyes and no words in reply. Fortunately, there was a second Attendant in the other aisle close enough to ask for assistance. I got a response from her, at least. "You'll need to clean yourself up." Oh boy, they recruit the top of the Attendant class for these flights, it seems.

"About this time I saw that the spill was about to leak onto the seat with the nice Vietnamese girl sitting beside me. I warned her that some of the spill might be about to get on her sweat pants... and was greeted with the Wide Eyed Panic of someone facing terror for the first time. Maybe she had a tomato phobia? Anyway, she bolted from her seat, fled to the back cabin, howling plaintively about how she HAD TO BE reseated. At least it freed up that seat and I might be able to stand up now.

"When I got to the aisle, Responsive Grandmother Attendant finally realized how big the mess was and started to try to do something useful. Like clean up the seat and floor. I, realizing I was Priority Nil on her list, got her attention long enough to ask that the Purser meet me up at the Lavatories to help with clean-up and recovery there. Amazingly, she agreed to call the Purser.

"So by the time I've had the pleasure of emptying my trouser pockets carefully and ineffectually rinsing most all of my clothes in the tiny sink, there was a knock at the door of the Lav... Where I was greeted with a fine figure of manhood, 6'3" and strongly built, the embodiment in appearance of Biff Manley, Man of Action, but with the voice of a schoolgirl. The Purser. "Oh. That's... quite the mess."

"My hero leapt into action, offering to take all the rinsed clothes to the bigger sink in the Aircraft Kitchen, wash them out and hang them in the Back Cabin to dry during the remaining 6 hours or so of the flight. He told me to wait, too. After only a few minutes, he was back with 2 fresh blankets for me to use to wear. I carefully considered options, and went with the fashionable choice... tied one on as a Flight Sarong, and draped the other over me when I got back to my now-mine aisle seat.

"In case anyone ever offers you a Flight Sarong as a wardrobe option, I do recommend them. A bit breezy, and can be racy if you don't manage the slit side properly, but very comfortable. They may well be the Next Big Thing in Travel Wear.

"The rest of the flight was uneventful, up to about 40 minutes before arrival... when Purser Manley came by to drop off my clothes, dried... and folded neatly. I was somewhere between boggled and amused and went to get dressed again. If there was a way to tip Flight Attendants, that man sure earned one.

"and I, now guaranteed to be free of any skunk aroma, was dressed and ready for landing. Sadly, they didn't let me keep the blankets for the Flight Sarong, so I can no longer dress like the Malay Villains in a Bollywood action movie. Oh well... I got to Seattle, at least."


Heh, hope you enjoyed the Embellishment. Will post soon about New Novel Progress and other things!